Monday, 31 August 2009

Snot funny!

As you might be able to tell I’ve been dealing with a bout of the common cold. For two days last week it was no laughing matter. Indeed, as it turned out, laughing caused me to agitate the delicate balance within my sinus that tipped the bucket of delightful smooth wallpaper paste. A paste containing some colourful stray contaminants that found its freedom into the world beyond. Ok, so most did make it into the white flag of truce which I was constantly waving in front of my nose. However, plenty did make a break for it and found its way onto my face in only the way rouge mucus can. I admit to maybe noming a little that dribbled as far as my top lip, oh don't cringe, we all do it and you know it! In a related incident though, it wasn’t the only thing to find its way out of that orifice last week.

Oddly enough it all started after another fluid found its way to the back of my throat and back up through my nose. No it wasn’t that, and not that either. It was some soapy bath water. I don’t know how many times I have to lean back and put my face under the water in a bath to realise holding my nose IS actually a good idea. Sure, the water doesn’t percolate my airways every time I’ve done this, but thinking back it’s happened more times in a bath than it probably has at a swimming pool. Maybe it’s just feeling relaxed and not expecting to be penetrated in the head by a fluid. When swimming it’s all about the breathing, but laid back in a warm bath with only the stresses of the day to work out and disregard its maybe something I tend to overlook when it comes to holding my breath. At the time I thought, ‘ah cack’, it’s not a very nice feeling. Unlike most times that this has happened, the uncomfortable feeling didn’t fade. The burning sensation from within stuck and this irritation to my inner linings seemed to create the crack in my immune system that was ready to be invaded by whatever lurked. Well, maybe it was a cold already about to strike and all down to chance but it did seem some co-incidence.

Whatever the reason, it quickly became a week I wanted to end as soon as possible. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight, a habit of a lifetime. However the week just gone had me in bed very early by my body clock. Work saw me doing a great Jesus impersonation. Since most people seem to take his supposed resurrection as gospel I’m afraid he’s the only ‘real life’ definition of a zombie I can culturally relate to. If you’re religious don’t worry it’s all about the dictionary definition. Just in case you’re wondering I’m just explaining myself on the off chance I end up in the Republic of Ireland sometime in the near future and end up being fined for Blasphemy... I can’t afford the 25,000 Euro fine it might end up in – in my opinion an outdated law to support an already religiously bias constitution. Anyway, back on track, I was a zombie, fully functioning except my head had a slower response time. Oddly work went smoother with the distraction of a leaking face then it did for many a week previously. I just hope I didn’t annoy too many of my colleagues with the constant attempts not to contaminate anything but my tissues. In retrospect I maybe should have taken a day off but I had reached crunch time on a few items of work that had been months building up to and with deadlines of this weekend I had to get them done. I was able to isolate myself enough not to be a health hazard and also made it through so it was a small victory that means I might actually be able to leave on time this week coming for once, woohoo! Gotta love the private sector... Maggie Thatcher and her Conservative ideology still have a lot to answer for!

I'm feeling better now, though I'm still suffering the after effects and needing tissues for my nose. Possibly a little bit of a sinus infection? Shall see how that goes. At least my head is no longer lost in Snotville, Coldland. I best get ready for work tomorrow with another bath now. No Bank Holiday for me! Will this bath end with the same result as one of last week’s? I sincerely hope snot.

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