The Big Society: Will All End Whelk?

Another cleaner fish who also enjoyed it's job of eating parasites off the backs of big fish came to the forefront of fishy pollocktics. This fish was more sympathetic to the small fish and at was elected at the next vote. Sadly though, the damage was already done by the Prime Fish who fully supported the big fish and the sharks, that fish who had pushed the branding of 'The Big Society'.

The reefs structure was irreversibly changed; the fish-public sector couldn't afford to buy back what it needed to work properly and struggled to keep the reef in one piece, the big fish continued to grow bigger and criticise the pro-public-sector fish in the hopes they could get their influence back and squeeze as much out of the small fish as they could. Corporation taxes went up but then big fishy business just left the reef, the government of the reef couldn't get the reef out of the social and economic mess left behind. The smallest fish still tried their best to have the best life they could but by now (for small fish) this particular reef was one of the worst reefs in the ocean to exist. The big fish society pre-branding still existed but social-capital was now weaker than ever and no good intentions from a Prime Fish sympathetic to the small fish could twist this around.

The future became bleak for the reef in general but the big fish turned a blind eye, the society of the reef was splintered but the big fish could always leave to another reef if things spilt over into their gated communities or it became unprofitable. In comparison, the small fish could not leave, they were stuck between a dying reef and dying on the reef. The Big Fish Society was indeed a Big-Fish Society but not the Big Society that the key Prime Fish of this story had portrayed to provide. The Big Fish Society was just superfishal.

There were of course booms and bust, but in the boom times the small fish only saw a little of the benefit of their hard work, during the bust times, as much of the burden as possible was unloaded their way. Life went on, but the reef never lived up to the potential it once had; it's potential to create a happy and healthy big society had passed. Instead of a happy and prosperous reef of the even bigger ocean community, it became known as just another unhappy mess of a reef whose leaders only seemed interested in growing their economy. It's environment and ecosystem soon succumbed.

But this is a fishy-tale, and stories can have happy endings outside the realms of reasonable possibility - after all, we are in a fishy world of fantasea.

Thankfully there was another reef. One far away from this reef at the other side of the sea.
There, they had a big society too but it was implemented by a cleaner fish who had much sympathy with the small fish. Though the fish on that reef were not as big, they didn't need to be, their sandbanks were less effected (even during the sandbank crisis) because they used fishy-sense and didn't cripple their social-capital many Prime Fishes ago. Their small industrial and resource providing reef towns had not been decimated decades before, the hard working fishes jobs had been slowly phased out and replaced by other forms of fishployment in a way that didn't decimate their local economies. They didn't cut public spending, they kept hold of many of the utilities that the reef depended on. A wise move for when global ocean energy prices went up the reefs fish-public sector found itself with a huge surplus to reinvest into it's society through research and development. This reef was leading the way in scientific discovery and had even harnessed the power of plankton in a way that didn't harm the oceans.

This far away reef had also invested a pot of money to encourage social enterprise many decades before, however rather than fish-public services being replaced, they were protected, it was the private sector whose enterprise's became social and the small fish knowing that the profit after reef tax from their goods and services was largely being reinvested back into their local area quickly took a liking to them. The social enterprises in the private market soon made a big impact and everyone felt valued. With less vulnerable smaller fish and more stability on the reef, all fish felt happier and small fish felt happy and had a real fair chance to become a big fish. Crime reduced as less fish had to turn to it to get by and more could be invested in reef defence and improving other reefs in need. The reefs economy was localised but competitive with the safety of a healthy public sector to help anyone who might fall off the reef and to provide key services.
This reef had free education to the highest levels. It's occupants had plenty of spare time to volunteer as their lives were easier for all. With more people free to be creative culture flourished and the reef grew.

The big fish didn't get so big but they had a reef and communities they could be proud of and a healthy and sustainable place for their spawn to grow up in.

Thankfully for the reef in trouble from the earlier part of the story, all the small fish from that reef who had good intentions were invited to come to the far away reef.

The old reef's economy collapsed as the only thing supporting the big fish and Sharks was taken away from their control. It was only a matter of time before the sandbanks collapsed again anyway so the small fish did not feel guilty leaving.

Back on the other reef, many of the big fish who didn't jump reef became small fish and realised what they had done, they were left to a decimated reef and were prey to the sharks they had encouraged and pampered.

The fish in the new reef didn't all live happily ever, even fiction has its limits, but they did live out their lives to the best of their ability and it did feel like they were truly a part of a big society. In time future generations learnt from the mistakes and positives of the past and evolved and adapted, eventually venturing out of the seas to other universes in time and space defying machines.

Fish with good hearts lived happily ever after.

The End.

Meanwhile... in a human dominated universe nearby... David Cameron had some choices to make... his Big Society guru Lord Wei led the BBC to describe the Big Society as:

A "coral reef" and we are the fishes.

Oh Carp. We're cooked.

[ Part 1 - A Fishy Tale ]

[ Part 2 - A Load of Carp ]

The Big Society – A Load of Carp.

The Big Society was a fishy government stance where professional and essential reef maintenance/services (which at the time were paid for by reef tax) were hoped to be largely taken off the fins of the fish-public sector to save costs and to allow the private fish sector to profit. Any voids in fish-public sector services would be filled by small shoals of local volunteer fish or private fishy businesses who were given more opportunities to make some more quick fishy money. This appeared on the outside like a good idea as it would save the indebted reef a lot of money. The trouble for the small fish was that the Prime Fish couldn't quite explain how The Big Society would work or what his plans of implementation actually were. The fish who were already playing an active role in the Big Society of the reef (those who already had a fin on the current), had their own ideas, but couldn't quite put their fins on the detail because it turned out there wasn't much there.

In an attempt to help the Prime Fish, one of his fishy party described it as being like a "human country" where the people of "the local citizen groups extend, vivify & shape their landscape".

As the reef was already a 'Big Society' many wondered what difference it would make. Several prominent fish stood up and watered their voices to the masses to ask what difference it would make to those smaller fish who needed the services more than most. The Prime Fish said his plans would go so far as to help small fish to help themselves but it did seem an odd way to go about it. After all, besides saving the big fish more money how could this help? The branding and scheme went ahead anyway, the prime fish decreed it his passion.

No one seemed to really understand the scheme fully, but here is what we understood it to be halibut at that time:

First - the fish-public sector was cut back to save funds; volunteer fish, social enterprise and private sector fishy businesses were urged to fill the wide open waters left behind.

Second, 'The Big Fish Society' that already existed was branded and claimed for the Prime Fish's own pollocktical agenda so whatever good was to come out of it in the future can now be claimed for the governing fishy-party.

Thirdly, a chest of fishy money was made available to those groups of fish who thought they could do a job through volunteering or setting up the reef structures and facilities required to replace areas of the fish-public sector run reef that had been cut.

Finally, a general trend underpinning this particular reef was the tax concessions to private sector fishy-business, given undemocratically accountable fishy business and private individuals concessions to fill any gaps in the reef and exploit it as they wished as long as the prime fish agreed. For anything unprofitable, other private groups of fish were asked to step up to fill the gaps and keep the reef in one piece, obviously for less than it would have cost the fish-public sector.

Simply, the big solution was to tell all fish something that they already knew; that they could do things for themselves. The underlying methods to giving out such control though resulted in leaving the poorest small fish worse off but very much helping those fish who already had the means to help themselves exploit the reef more. It turned out that the only underlying plan was for the small fish of the reef to pay to privatise their reef for the big fish and as well as that they were being asked to do more in their limited spare time to make this unfair reefy system even more detrimentally unfair.

And so it turned out to be: those areas of the reef where nutrients and resources were already still flowing and where the fish were already biggest, were able to take control of their needs and improve things further. They didn't miss the reef maintenance, their small part of the big fish society stood stronger for it.

The small fish soon saw their hopes start to unravelled when the bigger fish who gained from the changes didn't have any obligations in their contracts to help the bigger encompassing society of the reef. As seems to be fish nature, when they didn't have to, they tended not to, after all, it wasn't their problem. Wasn't that what the Prime Fish's government and the fish-public sector was for. They believed the small fish should pay to improve their own standard of life like they had.

For the Prime Fish and the big fish, the reef was being run the most efficiently it could be to give the big fish the best life possible and reach their goals, they could swim the sea so much easier with lots of fishy money in far offshore banks, from reef to reef they swam, gathering all they could - to do what with, no small fish knew, all they did know is that it didn't help the rest of the reef or the worse off fish in what became 'The Big Fish Society'. As life was great for these growing populations of big fish, they praised the prime fish for such a clever plan.

At the edge of the reef, things didn't swim smoothly at all. In fairness to the Prime Fish he did get some small fish into work who had been taking advantage of the reef-system such as with benefits and the likes, but the ways in which the Prime Fish did this also put strain on the already vulnerable fish who truly did need the help and now were left high and dry.

In many highly populated parts of the reef, the poorest fish struggled and this smaller part of the big society, if anything, degraded into poverty: The small fish tried to help one another, they swam together in small groups trying to keep going, as they always did do before this prime fish had come to power.

Lots of the smaller fish also struggled to volunteer because they were not in a position to do so: Many left their school at the age of 16 weeks, went straight into a minimum wage job and began to work long and unsociable hours just to get by, stuck in their jobs. Unfortunately though, with less and less fish-public services available, their health started to suffer, their coral accommodation and living situations became more transient and stretched. Some older poor fish couldn't even afford to cool their water and fried in the summer. Parts of the reef became no-go areas where sharks would prey on the vulnerable and no chest of money from the prime fish was enough to convince enough of the bigger fish to help, there just wasn't any profit in it. The fish-public sector was just a shell of its former self. Those who could afford private care still used it's resources but paid as little reef-tax as they could afford to. To compound issues, pollution soared all over the reef and it was left to the dwindling fish-public sector to tidy up the mess.

There were just more fishes in need and fishy problems then fishes able to help.
Around that time it was also reported that many homeless Squid seeking a shelter were inking themselves all over the reef as the fish-public sector couldn't afford to fund public toilets and voluntary homeless shelters couldn't afford to keep up with growing demand.

Originally when the chest of money was offered, even those with the means to help, those who already did valuable charity work ended up struggling with the fall in resources caused when the fish-public sector was hit and their income sources diminished. Their work suffered. The money that was given out sometimes went to private groups who squanderer it on schemes that were destined to fail but with no fish-public monitoring or accountability, these schemes continued helping waste the little money available. There was just no alternative, accountability or anyone to tell them to stop.

Those who did do a great job were up against it. The cleaner fish in charge of things didn't mind, they were deluded in the belief that market forces work just the same with fishy-social-capital as they did with fishy-financial-capital. The life of a fish in these poorest areas became much worse than it had before. The small fish had very few ways to hold to account those running the required services and provisions and it soon became apparent the big fish society didn't include them. They were as good as tinned.

Some divisions at the poorest end of fish society took it upon themselves to segregate themselves from the bigger society to get by, this compounded problems and lines of divisions much worse than in times of the not so distant past appeared. Fish tensions continued to rise as blinkered educational teachings and social segregation led to further introversion , ignorance and distrust. Small fish everywhere nibbled at the very foundations of the reef in order to get by and stay safe.

The big fish in the nice parts of the reef were disgusted by the small fish and wasted no time in getting their skates on to hire security fish to protect those well kept parts of the reef. Fish society on the reef became more divided than ever before. The Big Society had splintered, the biggest divide was between the poor and the wealthy and it was the small fish who got poorer and the big fish grew richer - society at the bottom of the reef was rock bottom. In the Ocean financial league tables, the reef still came near the top for its size, it's private sector was booming but very little was seen by the majority of reef and the reef and it's society were crumbling due to the divisions.

The Prime Fish however was still sure he had done the right thing and told the masses of small fish that he had given them the opportunity to improve their own lives and society. They had failed him and their society. To the Prime Fish, it was indeed all the fault of the small fish that his plan didn't work in raising social-capital and that the reef was not the Big Society he had envisaged. When the fish-press were not focused on the Prime Fish though, he was proud at how his scheme had risen monetary-capital for his friends the big fish and the Sharks and in turn were pleased with him.

What troubled the Prime Fish most other than trying to fix the mess his reef, was that the opinion polls were showing that he was probably going to lose the next fishselection.

The Prime Fish couldn't work it out in time and although a valiant attempt to put more spin on the whirlpool fishselection campaign, the prime fish was voted out at that next fishselection, but only just; 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you' was the campaign message but it didn't help.

The outgoing prime fish then went on to work for one of the fishy-companies he had helped to grow wealthy and powerful during his time at the top of the reef. He retired to the nicest part of another reef holding the same delusion that he had done to best for all his fishy-kin from the reef and indeed the sea. Other reefs even paid him to come and speak in-front of their leaders as they wanted their reef to be climbing those financial league tables too.

...To be Continued.

[ Part 1 - A Fishy Tale ]

[ Part 3 - Will All End Whelk ]

The Big Society - A Fishy Tale

Hi I'm Simon, a life form living on a reef in the future of a parallel universe. I'm also the author of this fishy story about The Big Society.  Just between you and me, I'm in lots of fishy debt to the Sturgeon Loan Company and I'm very much priced out of even the cheapest and most densely packed coral home locations. As it turned out though, these are small fry problems compared to some fish, fish whose lives are about to be battered and this could turn out to be any Tom, Jack or Marlin. So for their hake, I thought I'd re-tell this cautionary story about a coral reef's Prime Fish.

Before I get into the depths of this story, first, let me set the scene: The setting in which our story begins is a big and populous reef, a small distance across the seabed from the reef where I currently reside. The big reef had been a home to fish for a long time since it first grew. Its fish over time were involved in many events of ocean history, and at the time where we begin our fishy tale, it is a well know reef with a lot of influence around the ocean. Generally there are many pleasant parts of the reef, nice and safe in the shallow waters of sea, tides aren't too strong and the flow of nutrients can easily be harnessed.

Sadly though, the reef has always had a more troubled side; since the early days when the fish population really increased, there have always been those edges of the reef, densely populated parts, where the most fish live, where poverty still lingers and crime is easy to find. Here, a gathering of small fish are led by bigger fishes who can use their time and effort to gain prestige and more fishy money, it's a fish eat fish world. As gloomy as that picture sounds, things aren't always that terrible on the edge, in fact many fish choose to live there for its mix of fish, culture and excitement, however, fish society is a little more tense on this part of the coral, especially amongst the smaller fish with less fishy money. It is a sad fact that some fishes on the reef are very vulnerable but in general the big fish society at this point held out a helping fin funded largely through reef tax and volunteer fish.

So with that in mind for a few moments before our fishy minds forget, let me begin...

One day the fishy reef had a problem. Some of the biggest fish around the oceans had allowed sandbanks to lend to sub-prime small fish in some of the biggest reefs, their greed and poor judgement had led to a lot of bad debt and in turn a distribution of fishy money that the big fish on other reefs didn't want to trouble themselves with, it just wasn't profitable, it was some other fish's problem. It left the governing fish of many reefs needing to take action or have their reefy economies collapse on the humpback of what  became known as the sandbank crisis.

The sandbanks couldn't be allowed to collapse. “They are too big to fail” the big fish of the reef had told their investors in the past, the big fish were clever. There comments were true but only true because without them, fish society would collapse, they had taken the trust of a reef and profited from it. The reefs around the world couldn't hold individual big fish to account, after all, they had been so helpful in lending to the reefs in the past and employed many fish too. So it was decided that the debt would be passed on to the fish-public, the every day Jack and Dori would take on the big fish debts because they couldn't disagree or say no, that would have involved too much churning up in the surf for a reef of this stature.

The outgoing Prime Fish of the day hadn't done anything to stem the Sandbanks Crisis. The motions which set this wave of destruction towards the reef spanned back to much earlier Prime Fish, it was just encouraged since then because life for a lot of fish on the reef had improved from it. You see, the reef is a democracy and this is a good thing but in this democracy not everything is conducted in a democratic manner. Although it may have seemed like the smaller fish supported what the bigger fish were doing, in reality the smaller fish had little choice. Only 3 Prime Fish from similar breeding grounds were available for selection. Small fish were not excluded from the process, but as we will find out, in this underwater world, only the fish with the means were able to do anything. Sure, even if a smaller fish could make it to a position of power, they'd be part of the reef system and unable to rearrange any meaningful without exposing the reef to the rest of the sea and be at its mercy. This was always going to happen since the first big fish set the reef on it's path to trouble.

Reef pollocktics became rather important at the time when the sandbanks were collapsing, it just so happened to be a time when the reef's population had to select a new Prime Fish.

As I mentioned, each leader of their fishy parties was a cleaner fish but there were some who cared for the bigger fish of the sea more than others and some who alleged to care for the smaller fish of the reef more than others. However, it always turned out that the cleaner fish liked to help the bigger fish than them, it was just their nature. Without the big fish and sharks who would fund the required bait for their fishselection campaigns? Indeed, it seems unlikely that some of the cleaner fish would be in a position to be fishselected without their bigger fish support.

In the fishselection that year, not one Prime Fish was picked, the fish of the reef could not choose a  ruling fish-party because not one had enough support from the small fish. Fish opinion was as split as the corpse of a clam. There were of course procedures in plaice for such a scenario and so the Royal Fish let two parties agree a compromise of a coalition government then gave their blessing on the small fishes behalf to the main cleaner fish of the new shoal. A blessing granted to them from Poseidon himself, the ocean god not all fish believed existed, never the less, a new prime fish had been hooked.

The Prime Fish leading this coalition shoal was to be a fish who didn't care much for the smaller fish compared to others. He didn't understand why so many small fish became problem fish, but then why would he, being a cleaner fish he was privileged from birth and have never lived amongst the most disadvantaged fish of the reef. The new Prime Fish was of course from the pollocktical party of fish who like helping the bigger fish stay healthy and aren't so concerned as other parties about looking out for the smaller fish even though they depend on them to maintain their lofty positions - and possessions - on the reef.

In the last fishselection it was largely the areas where reef life is already good that voted for this particular cleaner fish. The majority of the reefs population (the smaller fish who were earning the least fishy money in the most densely populated areas of the reef) either didn't vote in the fishselection or voted for a different party to that of our prime fish. Unfortunately the system was such that their votes didn't matter so much. The reef's fishselection process had led to so many disillusioned fish that they just didn't care any more, what did their vote really make any difference to? The reef was in a pickle that most knew it didn't want to be in but as they say underwater, “every air bubble has a silver lining”, in this case, at least the reef now had a Prime Fish to lead the way.

The biggest issue after the fishselection was still the sandbank problem. In order to resolve the immediate damage to the sandbanks, the prime fish shored up the sandbanks by redirecting the fish-public re-reefing funds. When the time came, the Prime Fish handed over a fortune to the big fish and Sharks of the sea as quickly as he could. This bail-out was done even against the advice of other cleaner fish but the Prime Fish was egged on by the big fish and Sharks waiting to take advantage and didn't disappoint them. Oddly enough, these were the same big fish and Sharks who very much helped in the collapse of the sandbanks in the first place - he told the smaller fish "My fins are tied".

This particular reef wasn't the only reef to experience this, there were many such reefs over the ocean. Some with more problems than others. The small fish were not happy, but they couldn't do anything about it. They could only sit back and see what little they had reduce whilst somehow the big fish (who still managed the Sandbanks that the small fish had been forced to help shore up) were still syphoning profits to the big fish. It was not fair, but life on the reef had never been fair. Why should the prime fish try to change this?

Never fear though, the prime fish (a former PR fish, brilliant in the art of convincing other big fish to swim his way) came up with the next stage of a plan, a plan that was said to be key to helping the reef to resolve both its financial and social issues. Initially it was a big surprise to the reef when the Prime Fish pushed his idea forward. In order to bring some re-reef to the fishy society, his plan was going to promote what he called 'The Big Society', an idea that would help the small fish help themselves - the small fish wondered if this was too good to be true or indeed if the catch was going to be in the detail.

...To Be Continued

 [ Part 2 -  A Load of Carp ]

 [ Part 3 - Will All End Whelk ]

Northern Ireland's alternative general election summary.

Inspired by the funniest bit of media to grace the UK's May 6th, 2010 General Election, I thought I'd try to bring a bit of an alternative review of the political events we witnessed here in Northern Ireland over the last couple of days. So please join me for a few minutes and I'll try not to keep you hanging around as long as Fermanagh and South Tyrone.

If you haven't guessed already the bit of media I'm referring to was the immensely funny Channel 4's Alternative Election Night. A show that was hosted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne and made me laugh all 4 of my cheeks off even more than Conservatives complaining on Radio5 today. It wasn't meant to be funny on the radio but I just couldn't keep a straight face. I mean callers were lifting their handsets to their heads to moan that their party has to actually come down off its high horse and 'talk' with other parties. Parties that after all make up the other 63.9% (with one constituency still to be decided) of voters who didn't vote for them... or as the case might be outside of England, the 80.5% of the electorate who voted against a Tory government - and that's a stat including the other comedy gold that was the Ulster Conservatives and Unionists New Force (though not the Fermanagh and South Tyrone unionist candidate who said he would take the Tory whip). How long will the quick attempt to buy a tribal vote just in case of a hung parliament continue is a intriguing question. Is the UUP likely to get Conservative HQ 'junk' status? Or is it just likely there is to be a bit of re-branding? Perhaps "UCU New Force can be felt by Jedi Cameron as strong - trust in the force, party" or "Ulster Conservatives and Unionists Revenge of the Sixth"?

And it wasn't just the Galactic Tory Empire that was having trouble with the Rebel Alliance here in Northern Ireland when it came down to tribal politics. Our fair and benevolent First Minister Peter Robinson found his hand being lightsabered by the positive force. Naomi Long led the Alliance to arguably one of the most significant victories of the election here and one that shows that even tribal leaders aren't above the democratic process. A positive campaign and admittedly although as I'd be biased since I voted Alliance in my constituency, a great step forward in Northern Irish politics. I'm almost tempted to move to East Belfast!

As it is, I'm not alone in the optimism that this might be a turning point in Northern Irish politics. Akin to taking down the shield generators on Endor, in time, maybe the Alliance and the Ewoks, ermm sorry, Green party and other moderate candidates may be able to normalise politics here, letting us finally vote on issues that effect us all as a single community. We can but keep the dream alive.

Why a single community? Well, other than what I said in this Nick Roll post, I hate to break it to everyone on planet Earth but we are all human and part of a global community - our species' future will depend on everyone pulling together at some point - even if it is just to co-ordinate getting away from each other and flying to separate planets like in Dr Who with Starship UK the other week! So even if the naughty boys and girls (who make friends by choosing to sit in separate groups and only agree to play with each other nicely when someone holds the chance of more toys their way) would like to make us all think otherwise, that isn't our future. At least not a pleasant future anyway. I think the Channel 4 Alternative Election Night got it spot on in bringing it all into perspective when they had the charismatic and worldly wise Dr Brian Cox giving the top 5 things we SHOULD be worried about. From Super Volcanoes to Supernovas, which would pretty much kill all of us, number one was mankind's own stupidity.

Which leads me nicely on to another MP elected - Sammy Wilson. His re-election by the votes of the happy go lucky residents of East Antrim may worry anyone interested in the growth of science, technology, niche green markets in renewable power and manufacturing throughout the UK - after all, his vote in Parliament is unlikely to be for green economic change - at least going by the environmental views he's held in the past - but wait! Maybe I'm not giving the credit to the DUP voters in East Antrim they deserve... after all, sending him to London to once again be 1 voice amongst 649 others (where we would hope some common sense on major issues might shine through anyway), we're also getting a free gift! I personally believe it to be one of the best results of the election - now he's re-elected, he's stepping down from his his ministerial position and the Northern Ireland Assembly. Good times!

In North Down we saw popular opinion shine through for Sylvia Hermon who left everyone in her dust and I thought she came across very well on TV. The interview made it seem like she might be in a game of Deal or no deal. If it came to it Banker Cameron or Banker Brown could be calling to test the waters but the good news is she sounded like she'd hold on for bigger money. Sure, if it was needed for any party to join some tangled coalition or informal support, maybe they'd all get to take turns at opening the boxes until it was their turn to play? I reckon we could hold out for £299 million if Plaid Cymru are holding out for £300 million. All we need to make this work is Noel Edmonds on board. Sadly it'll all probably collapse before going to air due to the banker getting a bit greedy selling all the audience seats to people who can't afford them. In the short term maybe getting all the Blues out of the way first is a good idea and we'll leave the Reds for later!

The most hotly contested seat of this general election in the whole of the UK though has to be Fermanagh and South Tyrone. It wasn't the eventual winner that made it exciting but the number of votes involved. In the end Michelle Gildernew took the seat by a margin of 4 votes, yep, wouldn't you be gutted if you were a Rodney Connor supporter and didn't bother to vote or missed the cut off time? Who knew there was actually a place where every extreme vote counted!? After being bored to sleep by the slow results trickling through at around 2.30am we missed this one being called live or the recounts with the final result being declared at 20300 to 20304 after the 3rd recount! Not only that but now it seems even this result is being disputed. Here is the full story of the Fermanagh and South Tyrone count on the BBC site. I feel sorry for anyone counting there, just imagine you've been up all night and get asked to do a 3rd count! All the while, probably being glared at by the two candidates/supporters from opposite sides of the 'traditional' divide. I suspect it would feel like making a funny sound by accident and then making it again to make it sound like you meant to make the sound and then realising they might not have heard the first time and thus have to do it again all the while wondering if they heard all 3 and think you need help.

The rest of the DUP, Sinn Fein and SDLP candidates who gained the public's vote seemed to be elected without much of a shock with no other seats changing hands and not too many delays. With counting happening overnight it also proved to the rest of the UK and Ireland that we've either found a new use for the night staff at a 24 hour Tesco, or, as is more likely, we have joined the rest of the world in planning accordingly for a special occasion. Get us and our in time election declarations, still a wee way to go before rivalling Sunderland.

And that was that for now. We could probably all end up doing it all again before too long depending how all the negotiations go. So next time I want to see TV executives asking the party leaders to compete in Krypton Factor as well as live debates. The good news is that no matter what, most of us who live from pay check to pay check are still likely to be worse off in the near future but luckily the financial system and billionaires will be very grateful. I'm rather dubious at the moment as to how things will pan out, I doubt it'll be as bad as the election scare tactics made out but you never know. Like the public in Greece found, you never know if we hear everything - like those big numbers that have gone walkies. I presume, like IKEA flat packs, where these days they usually give you one extra screw that you weren't expecting, I'm still waiting for one to show up both in the package here and over the water. I'm just hoping this half decent start to a hung parliament does end up providing some real and long lasting changes, both in a shift to normalised politics for Northern Ireland and general electoral reform in the whole of the UK. With nothing more to say on the subject for now I'll sign off today with a video recently posted by Stephen Fry. So just in case it goes mammaries up with electoral reform this time out, here is that light hearted yet serious video starring John Cleese on the subject of Proportional Representation and why we need it:

2010 Election: Capitalism, UK politics shadowing America and an idea.

Its less than a week now until the election and I'm depressing myself more and more investigating, researching and learning about the actual ins and outs of the financial world. For someone who thinks Capitalism has given too much freedom to large and multinational business which is just encouraging something of an Imperial dominion over the world, I find it hard to stomach listening to the ongoing debates which all seem to take for granted the long term and only seem to consider the short term.

This post is all just my view and maybe I'm being a little idealogical, but one thing that does seem to be emerging already is that the UK's Parliamentary elections are becoming more like the USA's presidential elections.

In my opinion the current situation is that the Labour Party is suffering from disenchantment since they've almost become a sub set of the conservative attitude, almost meeting them in the middle though still keeping a little more sense. The Lib Dems have taken great strides with the greater access to publicity, especially amongst the young who are starting to feel the inequality in the country for themselves as they enter further education and the work place. The Conservatives seem to have met labour in the middle from the other side of the fence and are saying whatever they think they have to to try and get elected.

It seems though, all three major parties have convinced a lot of people that the answer to the way out of economic problems caused by the financial world and wealthy people screwing us (by passing us on their debts instead of absorbing the shock themselves) is by giving the same people more freedom and opportunity for bigger profits... short term it is the only solution to prop up markets but surely aren't we setting the country up for a bigger fall? Where are the pledges to the long term overhaul to a fairer society? Where are the plans to limit the extraction of money or the slice of the pie able to be retained for those creating the value and therefore profitability of the country for us to be able to better our society and unlock potential in our children?

The lack of answers to those questions aside and this fall into a some bizarre US type blind faith that the leaders of major corporations will look after their workforce, the main reasons that I feel the UK's politics are becoming Americanised begin with the leaders of the key 3 parties in the UK taking part in live televised debates and how this is changing make-up of public opinion (should the press be trusted).

With the TV debates, a lot is down to the personalities, the two opinions that are gaining ground in the system here are starting slowly to align to the same political divisions in the US. The Lib Dems seem to be positioning to become the UK equivalent of the Democratic Party and the Conservatives matching up to that of the Republican. Labour seems to be being squeezed both ways with the class divisions in society more and more becoming income divisions due to the breakdown of the traditional British community led by Maggie Thatchers reign.

This is neither good or bad as times change so will the political landscape to meet new challenges. However the problem seems to be that the focus has well and truly started to ebb away from the local candidate (who could well be a moron or brilliant) and is probably going to be much more influenced by the personality of the leader. To me this is bad news. What I would consider the downside to politics in the US, that of celebrity culture and hype, is playing an ever increasing role compared to more in depth debate on issues and policies at a local level about what may be best for the long term prosperity of the individual, the locality, the nation and the world. The culture seems to be led by media profiteering and politics is becoming more and more a product with parties/candidates becoming brands, with TV debates selling tag lines and sound bytes, with tabloid newspapers alligning with a candidate and selling a bias view of all events to people who need education to help choose wisely not spin from someone hoping to make money from them.

With the corporate world pretty much leading society where it wants and unelected people largely focused on self gain having such a sway in the eventual laws we are governed by and public spending,  it is slightly worrying. However to be fair, since the same 'independent' advisor's, religious leaders and commercial groups with vested interests have always had a large influence over what actually happens when the country is governed its not like much is changing, only a different face to an old problem.

Being slightly cynical; at least the - 'its who you know not what you know' system will be equalled by something equally as silly. Making a mess of a debate on TV or saying something on a microphone will be blown out of all proportion ahead of policies and could end your brands chances. Combine that with the spin that tabloid newspapers spew out and even with these aspects alone it all becomes quite a farce. A farce of trying to convince a mass of people who probably don't really have a great picture in their minds of the national situation let alone the international scene that policies you have will benefit them even if it screws someone else over. On the plus side its at least making politics a more entertaining spectator sport even if our lives get turned upside down and we're paying more for less to help someone else keep huge figures in their bank statements and investment portfolios.

What an odd political time we live in. The local issues in Northern Ireland are even more perplexing and disheartening due to the further divisions and tribal politics overriding any other issue.

As for me, I've been trying to think of a way I can get along in this society in the long wait for caps on wealth that whilst not adhering to the whims of the rich or reinforcing the injustice faced by the poor. A way to help society with retaining the benefit from its own hard work and not just benefit the greedy and ruthless, the already privileged or lucky. A way that might  empower every individual to unlock their potential within the system that has evolved to how it is today.

Short of the government doing much about it - which in Northern Ireland is like hoping for a piece of an asteroid to deflect the ball into the net at a football game - and in Great Britian with the Lib Dems or Greens unlikely to get into power other than as part of a co-collision government in a hung parliament (those being the parties who I believe have the policies that would at least start a bit of positive change - so come on a score draw on the 6th May and a hung parliament!) things aren't likely going to be much different tomorrow than they were today.

I'm starting to seriously consider doing something I've long thought about as a way to personally go about it... starting a Social Enterprise. If I think of a good idea, and manage to afford some time and money besides trying to eventually find an over priced run down shell of a house to call a family home and to pay the bills and for the odd luxury to keep us sane, then I'm going to be right on it :)

Any ideas?

Northern Ireland sees amazing twist in Election build up

"You wouldn't get this from any other guy"

Photo by Alex Folkes

Congratulations, you've been Nick Roll'd in honour of Nick Clegg. Do bear with me though... I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling about Politics here in Northern Ireland in view of the general election on May 6th. ((This is only my pub discussion opinion and not representative of any group or persons I may be linked to))

As you probably know, in Northern Ireland we vote for MPs to send to Westminster like anywhere else but unlike the now brand based (Americanized) all out commercial politics in the rest of the UK - I gotta make you understand that its likely to be tribal politics that will once again cast its shadow over meaningful policies and debates here. This is because there are a lot of people who are never gonna give you up when it comes to pushing socially divided campaign material your way - flashing national flags and colours on their posters is the least of it. In all honesty I think people who don't vote tribally are put off even participating due to the seemingly foregone conclusion and in your face approach. We even end up with campaign cars being driven around blasting out noise pollution from loud speakers like salesmen from developing nations (no offence to developing nations).

In fairness some of these party's representatives may make decent MPs, but in my view, too many don't! Not at all aided by the fact the traditional divide here shares a religious connotation that means faith based politics also gets thrown into the equation. Such as the case where we are the only part of the UK where a woman's right to choose is forced over the sea and where politicians don't seem to pay much attention to statistics unless it fits into the neat categories of Catholic, Protestant or Other.

So are our current MPs here in NI really representing what is often the silent majority? The sad thing is until people speak up, no one will know. Still, they (our political elite) say they're never gonna let you down, but they do let you down very often by being petty and argumentative. A prejudice that is becoming more and more outdated in the ever increasingly globalised world. I personally feel embarrassed at times seeing those who are supposedly speaking on my behalf talking to the media.

So for none tribal politics, the closest party to the Liberal Democrats in N.I are the Alliance Party who tend to work with the Lib Dems. There are also the Greens and several independents who would also appear to also focus more of their effort to helping their potential constituents in things that really matter most in our every day lives and less about reliving the past. Such MP candidates may be unproven as they've never been given the chance, but we can hope they're never gonna run around and desert you when the time is needed for you to call on their help. Lets face it they can't be much worse.

My current view of politics here is that giving a neutral candidate a vote is a vote for unity and a single community where differences can be respected including those who don't share the traditional view points. It's an ethos that's never gonna make you cry. Sure, if people don't start voting here on policies outside the realms of century old feuds - of decisions made by people and values long since dead - then the political system is never going to work for the people. Rather it will continue to work only for the Politian's and other groups with vested interests.

The politicians who become the spokes people for local issues where national prejudice aren't relevant are never gonna say goodbye unless they are democratically pushed. Even when they trip themselves up with scandles, they're not going to want to give up a good thing and will rarely step down. They may say they're "never gonna tell a lie and hurt you", that "we've known each other for so long" but that doesn't change the fact tribal politics only benefits the few with the polar opinion and those opportunistic enough to fill any voids left.

What about the rest of us just wanting a fairer and pleasant place to live, free from fear and hate and not being imposed on too much by other peoples beliefs?

If like mine, you're heart's been aching because of the frustration of the situation here, but your too shy to say it. It's not too late to try to do something about it. Over time, things will hopefully change for the better, but as the saying goes; there is no time like the present - so this May if you're registered to vote in N.I, think about what you are actually voting for and maybe consider voting against tribal politics. It makes no sense for people to keep voting for the same people over and over expecting things to change. In fact that's pretty much the definition of insanity.

And that vote against Tribal parties to me includes a vote against the Conservative's recent venture into Northern Irish politics - seemingly to try and exploit the chance for an extra seat by investing when stock is low - as they controversially sided with the UUP. Inside we both know what's been going on. They can say all they want about not becoming involved in Tribal politics but when you slap a union jack behind your candidate in North Belfast, either they're insensitive or they're buying into that realm of politics (and lets face it like the republicans in the states the Conservatives are experts at scaremongering) and I'm guessing they probably think, "We know the game and we're gonna play it".

Change probably won't happen at this election but with just a vote, a moderate voice can start to turn the tide towards effective, non-corrupt government that works for the people and not for the facilitation of lining the pockets of a few. It's a lofty goal and power corrupts so you never can know for sure but at least it's worth a shot.

If you were not going to vote because of past experiences or fears of it not being worth the time, please do try to scrape a bit of hope together for politics next month. If you feel the same, let's make the Tribal parties as well as the Conservatives and Labour take note! If you ask me how I'm feeling, it would be that we can all make the difference on May 6th, even if it's just by taking away some percentage points. That's not to say just vote for anyone, I'd suggest to listen to what everyone has to say and don't forget to read the small print :)

Don't tell me you're too blind to see that you've now been Nick-Rick-Rolled. I hope it was painless enough. If you fancy Nick-Rick-Rolling anyone you know, please do pass it on, even better why not Nick-Rick-Roll your own view of politics in Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK.