Captains Orders Beta

Captains Orders (the infamous drinking game) made a comeback to our house on Monday night as we perched on the edge of our seats to watch the 2009 Star Trek movie.
For once the baddies on the screen were not the most dangerous thing! Like Tribbles these jelly shots appeared to have been breeding since last time and were looking a lot more ominous compared to previous occasions.

This wasn't just one episode with several jelly shots though, this was a film and because of this the rules had to be clarified. The rules were agreed; orders were not to be valid if given by the follically challenged band of Romulans needing anger management classes. Not even Nero himself; we refused to respect his authority. Also, orders were only valid when the captain was giving a direct order to a person/sentient alien and when they were indeed the current acting captain at the time.

So we got stuck into the feature presentation. As you probably know if you've seen it, it's not long before as a viewer you're part of a grand action sequence... filled with orders.
The jelly shots were soon starting to form a queue that was waiting to be consumed. Nine were eaten before the first pause for breath. Thankfully this all or nothing start to the film went from all to nothing and we eventually got a bit of a rest from onset of a case of Jelly-belly that we were self inflicting.

There was then a steady flow of orders with odd breaks here and there between the various captains giving their orders until there came a point where Kirk had us unable to keep up. We tried our best though and most of us had only a small backlog of a couple of shots. The big problem we did encounter - apart from feeling rather full of jelly - was that we ran out of jelly shot. I know right, we were shocked too!

Feeling slightly overwhelmed with Jelly it was an odd feeling of can't give up now but also worrying that this wasn't enough!

So we reverted to non-alcoholic shots of diet coke and kept up until the end. Poetically, the quantity of coke we had on hand lasted perfectly to the last order at the very end of the motion picture.

As the credits rolled and the tipsiness was really kicking in, it didn't take away from the rather worrying/impressive stack of empties.

As such, I have three recommendations when playing this:

Firstly, we are adults in our late 20's and have enough sense to know the damage this much vodka can do, I in no way endorse this as a practice to anyone, shots can be non-alcoholic (*end of health warning*.

Second, if you go the alcoholic route (as well as on your own head be it) - dilute the alcoholic content more than you normally would to suit what you can handle and take into consideration the taste - taking into account you'll need more shots than you expect – more than fifty each., hence having multiple flavours is also a good idea.

The third recommendation applies even to non-alcoholic jelly shots! Don't stuff yourself with food before playing. If you do, when you're on your feet your stomach may feel like its travelling a second behind your actual direction of movement. If this occurs then you've got jelly belly, a belly too full of jelly! Take a break from the shots should jelly belly persist. That's an order.

Captain's Orders

Our faithful captain from the good ship the USS Enterprise-D gives the order. The crew respond. We lift our tiny little Vodka Jellies to our lips and struggle to get it to dislodge by shaking, tapping and sucking at them until the time it comes to give up and stick a finger in. The gelatinous ruby red treats slip, slide and slop their way to our mouths and we await further instructions.

This is Captain's Orders. The very much unofficial Star Trek drinking game for sensible, stay-at-home, Saturday night, sci-fi obsessed individuals who have become slightly bored with the Saturday evening TV schedule, overcrowded cinemas and over priced everything else. Credit be to Norn Girl for her version of a drinking game that seems to be in existence already but that might see people with alcohol poisoning within minutes!

Every once in a while letting your hair down and having a little indulgence in the merrier things at our disposal is almost a necessity. Sure it’s not everyone’s favourite thing to do and some even avoid the stuff all together, on occasion when I was younger and had less common sense I might have even told myself never again. However I lived, I learnt and I no longer overdo it except on special occasion and when with family who should know better! The 2009 me doesn’t mind taking a small hit on the body to maintain some mental health. A couple of pints of Guinness, a Bottle of the red stuff or some Vodka over the 2 days away from the stresses, strains and deadlines of the workplace and life in today’s world isn’t such a crazy thing. The government ads might err on the side of caution, and rightly so, but for the grown adult with at least a little control, the extra units of alcohol taken onboard responsibly with food and water, can in my opinion make life that bit more enjoyable. Not that Star Trek isn’t enjoyable, but if you’ve ever the situation whereby you have Vodka Jelly shots sitting in your fridge and a copy of Star Trek; The Next Generation on DVD waiting to be watched, it makes perfect sense!

So the rules. A Jelly Shot (pre determined strengths can be determined, for those with health problems or a life choice - non-alcoholic, regularly prepared Jelly could be used too) is to be consumed once an order from Captain Picard has been made. This has to be a direct order, group orders count as one, multiple orders without Picard drawing breath also only count as one.

Further to this, deciphering whether something is an order can be trickier than it seems. As Norn Girls family had come around to join us for a wee while, we were in high spirits. Not long after with only Norn Girl, her sister and yours truly remaining, we found ourselves in the other form of higher spirits. Not drunken, just tipsy, but still finding many of Jean Luc’s orders that were not direct orders but implied orders. We ruled that the likes of nods did not count.

It was a fun episode we had landed with. ‘Relics’ of Season 6. It wasn’t long before the TV started to talk to us and it wasn’t the ongoing alcoholic consumption. One order in this episode had lol-ing at the screen and on the front page of the ‘fail-blog’ of our minds. Picard, after going through the motions of an order, ends his long sentence with the words ‘but that’s not an order’ – sadly we had already ingested the Jelly, he just can’t make his mind up sometimes... I think he was on to us!

The irony of our little drinking game came about again when the good old Scotty of the original series fame and featuring in the episode, got his hands on a bottle of Aldebaran whiskey. A green liquid of strong alcohol that it turns out had been given to Guinan by non-other than Jean Luc Picard himself! So whilst Jean Luc and Scotty were downing their beverage, we too had been digging into the pile of jellies. We can blame Data for his fair share of them, orders are to Data what flames are to moths. He just can't keep away!

As we were drinking to one of the only episodes of TNG with an explanation of synthahol – Star Fleet’s alcoholic substitute, we might have thought this may have been just a slight coincidence but the TV was soon talking to us again. Scotty was up and about in a scene portrayed to be the day after he had drunk the Green stuff whilst coming to terms with his situation... and at this point came the line, “never get drunk unless you’re willing to pay for it the next day!”. Wise words indeed, though thankfully no hangover was had and we were up bright and early Sunday morning to head to a Carboot sale. The only downside, unless like me you’ve very little shame of being high on life and would do it without the influence of alcohol anyway - was being measured for a Bra wearing my other half’s undergarment over my clothing. Apparently I’m a moobalicious B cup but I think much credit could be given to the baggy T-shirt – still, more trips to the Gym required me thinks.

To finish off a fine night of Captain's orders we created shadow puppets, watched 2 and a half men and played some Wii games – I never said we were normal!

Captain's Orders - if you’re stressed and fancy living long and prospering, maybe you could give it a try and let us know how you get on?

Sunshine during the storm.

Sorry for the absence and neglect of my blog since our recent relocation. This weekend has been the first chance for a breather since the move where we haven’t had to leave the house for a day. As for work, well the less said about the work overload there the better. With everything seemingly in order and most places updated with the change of address, it’s time to get back to typing for fun rather than out of necessity and letting the world roll on.

With the house move, we’re settled in and it has been a positive move. The toilet refills properly, the house is warm and has less drafts, no plague of slugs and its much more homely. Even the set up in the living room makes for a much better DVD viewing experience - something I hadn’t even thought about until we were watching one here. Those are only a few of the pluses and it really is a much nicer place to wake up. We actually look forward to coming home once again. The only downside was the upheaval and effort but now that’s out of the way, in retrospect it really was a great idea.

Apart from the move a lot has happened since the last time I made an update. Namely a certain day out at Windsor Park in which I was lucky enough to witness a team I support win a major trophy for the first time in 17 years of me following football. More on Crusaders F.C’s Irish Cup Final victory to come.

Other than that, another highlight was my Birthday. After a lovely meal in the Frankie and Benny's at Victoria Square, we went to see the new Star Trek movie, which was great! After walking over to the Odyssey in some bizarre 'raining whilst sunny' weather - something that seems to be becoming quite regular. We ducked out of the rainbow strewn sky and into one of the Storm cinema’s VIP screens.

It was well worth it even though we had to sit right at the front where it was hard to see what the heck was happening during the big action scenes. Very comfy chairs though and without spoiling too much, the comfy chairs really did help with the much needed concentration required to ponder the way the movie ties in with the past timelines in the Star Trek canon. Kate Mulgrew playing Captain Janeway in the Voyager episode Futures End: Part 1 puts it well - “The future's the past, the past is the future. It all gives me a headache”. For me at least, the extra special comfiness was needed for pondering alternate realities and some multi universe theory and quantum mechanics!

The movie itself I thought was one of the best I’ve seen in a long time and quite true to what the original series might have ended up being given the chance to throw today’s technology and budgets back in time to Gene Roddenberry. I’m confused a little though where they want to take the movie. Is it to be a new series or run of movies set in an alternate reality? or is the movie just a one off?

Whichever, it’s back to reality now and time for normal posting to resume.