After the wedding - back to the future

Sat on the sofa with my amazing wife on a date approaching our 1^st month anniversary. In the house we rent and with the cold of winter outside being ousted by the pretty colours of our festive decorations. The construct of time has shed me a few moments, whilst watching DVD’s, to blog again for the first time in over a month. So this is just a quick update before I finally get time to type up the several thousand words worth (no host of golden daffodils included) of blog posts that I have written in my handy Muji notebook purchased on Oxford Street.  Inside, and with the gaps between the skirting boards and the carpet plugged and with only the draught emanating from an ill-fitting door, we’ve the heating on. It is certainly not the 30 degrees centigrade we were spoilt by, which is a big shame.  We kinda got used to the summer weather on our honeymoon on an island located south of the Equator... namely Mauritius,  but the warming of the festive season isn’t a bad thing to come back to.

Things haven’t changed too much, the mild side of crazy is still in both of us and is still prevalent even after we have gained the definition of Mr and Mrs. Even though the random dose of vitamin D has quenched the demands of our bodies that are unaccustomed to such treats, we have been ever so busy every day since we returned from honeymoon, sorting the aftermath of one occasion and preparing for the onslaught of another.

Half the whole of the story of 2009 might end up slightly over lapping with in 2010 but I intend to get there.

 First up is a trip or two to the BBC...

Plenty to come... please hang in there!

Sorry for the lack of posts this November. As November's go, this one has been, and will be, an extra special month. In 12 days I'll be getting hitched. The weekend just past was my stag do weekend. The evenings are taken up planning and sorting, the days working and getting things done and the spare moments hopefully dedicated to writing a speech that is still only a small bunch of notes long... eek!

Though for once I have a list of events, meaningful thoughts and feelings to blog about, the time isn't yet there to put them into the form of a blog post. To that end I am making a real and actually-written-down-in-a-hard-backed-notepad type list and I am determined to make my way through writing about them as soon as I find time - this is more than likely after the wedding. Possibly in the sun whilst Norn Girl reads chick-lit books about divorces ;)

So from appearing in the audience of BBC TV/Radio shows and a Leeds game, to Stag do's and meeting old friends, from ponderings about keyboards and time travel to hopefully (what will probably be many an entry of) the biggest event... the wedding and honeymoon.

Unfortunately life doesn't seem to have a pause button. So what has been and what is to come will have to just hold on a little while longer. Please don't venture far... I'll try to make small updates in the mean time but I'll be back soon, with more to blog than ever!

Random Google searches - 'voluntary stalking'?

After another long week at work and with my fiancée at the other side of the Irish sea, enjoying her weekend long hen party with the girls. I’ve had plenty of time to watch random TV, and loiter on the t’interwebs. Ok, so maybe I’ve not had the most wholesome time, all I’ve managed to do is choose my transfers for the fantasy football, to play online scrabble and complete another inquisitive but slightly nerdy task, that of looking through the Google search queries for my blog. Bemusing myself with the odd things that this here blog has been located by in the several months I’ve been typing here. Ok so it’s not exactly everyone’s idea of a great start to the weekend but it gave me a giggle!

With Christina Martin - occasional writer and comedian - leading the way (at least in my realm of reading about random search results beyond Googlewhacking), I thought I’d share some of the more random Google searches that have found my blog. Before I start, I’ll warn you they’re not quite as bizarrely random and as wonderfully absurd as those Christina found. After all, ‘comedian more powerful than jesus’ and ‘goose costume sale’ are searches worthy of awards let alone finding a blog – well that, or at least worthy of an explanation by the original search author.

So here goes... the first that caught my eye:

‘camera above the royal mail in belfast‘

I wonder if they were hoping to find if they could use it or if they were being watched? Maybe they were just hoping to find out if someone’s doing something about those letters that grow legs and make a run for it?

‘how to become a captain of a ship in ireland’

Ah this makes more sense, well – maybe. If it was possibly the same person as the camera query, and that person was going to be looking out for an important letter - it could easily be their Master Mariner’s licence they were trying to keep their eyes peeled for. Avast me hearties, I’ll be understanding!

‘belfast and northern island street directory ‘

Shiver me timbers! No wonder they wanted to be Captain. There might be treasure to be had if we can but find our way around the Northern Island... best set sail for Rathlin on high tide! Whilst we wait, here are a few more...

‘funny contact lenses in northern Ireland’

that hopefully didn’t result in the following search...

‘tragic stories blogs northern ireland‘

...and...

‘bargain buys vans on ebay no mot ni county down ‘

hopefully wasn’t anything to do with...

‘northern ireland explosive’

Then there were some people seemingly searching for the more random...

‘natalie imbruglia looks like carol vorderman’ - this is vindication of sorts, I knew I wouldn’t be alone in thinking that! Here's the explaination about the doppelgangering.

‘europe easter egg for kings ‘ – probably a DVD related search but I like the thought of an Easter egg fit for a King. I bet it’s like those kinder eggs you can get that have the giant toy inside... if I was a king I’d like one of those... but bigger! And then there were my two favourites...

‘huge statue of a lady in a bed in ireland’

I’m intrigued.  Does anyone know what they might have been looking for? If there isn’t one, I implore someone with more money than sense to make this a reality! I suspect they were the most disappointed to only find my blog.

And my overall favourite but also the search results I least wish to appear in...

‘voluntary stalking’

Sometimes you have to wonder what people are really looking for or if they’re just typing into a search box for the fun of it. When someone types in voluntary stalking, whats going on in their mind? Do they want to be stalked or are they looking for a consenting victim or are they looking for examples of such phenomenon - hopefully its the latter.

P.S. I am not volunteering for being stalked - no matter how many ‘funny contact lenses’ or ‘bargain buy vans on ebay no mot’ you might find my blog with! You might tempt me with ‘a huge statue of a lady’ but she has to be in bed and both she and the bed have to be in Ireland. You can send this via royal mail, a captain might be along to pick it up in the next few years if it needs importing and we’ll have someone watching to make sure it arrives at the sorting office ok. If you can fit it inside a European Easter Egg suitable for a king that would be awesome. Cheers!