Friday, 24 June 2011

Speed Dating.

My motorcycle and the neighbours' car went on a date last night but it didn't go too well.

They hadn't even finished their first course when the neighbours' car happened to bump into his ex-bike. By all accounts she was still fuming after he'd driven her around the bend for months and then one night just stood her up for no reason. Worse still, she hadn't been able to lower herself from her kickstand and it was a month before her rider found her. She'd rusted under her hood in places she didn't know existed. It turns out the neighbours' car was a jack addict and was getting his fix at an illegal garage in a nearby town. One night got so high that he just forgot all about her.

After hearing this, my motorcycle was not surprised when his ex, who was totally revved up at this stage, sped at him and knocked his lights out. His radiator malfunctioned and he was out cold.

My poor motorcycle fled there and then but unfortunately in her hurry, she ran over some of the debris on the floor and suffered a double puncture. Thankfully her friend who lived near by was on hand to escort her home.

The neighbours car did come over to the house in the early hours to try and patch things up, but by this point he was tanked up and talking out of his trunk. My motorcycle, bless her, she stood up for herself, shouted at him to "shove his tiny horn up his exhaust pipe" and threatened that she'd "run over his dipstick if he ever tried to park near her again". He kept on apologising but eventually, enough was enough, she turned and lowered the garage door.

Her last words to him before that door closed were " I'm just two tyred and feeling very let down.".

I know... I'll not be giving up my day job, my stand up comedy set will have to wait for another life.


  1. Oh no, that is awful! The incident, not the story. ;-) Anyway, hopefully everything is reasonably repairable....

  2. That is a shame. I hope they can get back in gear and speed their way to a happier ending and a less exhaustive drama!



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